Are there rules for group sex and orgies?
Now, this is NOT the definitive “How To Erotically Conduct Yourself Perfectly and Properly at an Orgy”. But it’s a little bit of a primer that could help you get past a few little nicks and scrapes of the heart when in possibly the most intense sexual environment known to humanity!
I got a text last week, and after analyzing its offer… I knew it would be promising to instantly reply! It was from a wonderful man I had shot some erotic photography with a few months earlier involving intimate couplings with a special lady friend of his. He mentioned a hotel, some possible other friends visiting.. and then he mentioned.. “I don’t have any protective gear. Could you please bring some condoms, gloves, and some lube?”
Don’t be left unprepared. Follow these orgy rules for basic group sex etiquette.
8 Group Sex Rules
If you’re still looking for group sex so you can apply all these orgy rules, take a look at our favorite sites for group sex hookups:
Rule #1: Bring All the Protection
A threesome with two guys there? Bring TEN condoms. Three guys? Bring twenty! You do NOT want to run out of condoms in the middle of one of your greatest sexual triumphs of your life. Trust this advice.
Rule #2: Bring All Types of Protection
I just happened to have some extra unused latex gloves for just an occasion, funnily enough! And why not bring some female condoms. And some extra toys, candies, dildos, vibrators, Magic Wands, and anything you even slightly think might make the night more memorable and incredible.
Better to have it and not need it than need it and then not have it. This is very true in a gunfight, but even more true in an orgy!
Rule #3: Bring Lube
You don’t know how the bodies of the mysterious wonderful women/men/people you are about to engage with operate.. so in case of engine failure, bring the oil!
Sure, there are probably enough mouths and anticipatory saliva around to fill a whiskey cup, but maybe you don’t want to kiss everyone, or someone doesn’t want to kiss you.. on the mouth, but they have no problem slathering up your genitals as much as need be for the festivities to commence!
You never know who is willing to orally administer what to what, but just in case, bring the back-up sex juice. You WANT to have stuff left over when it’s all said and done… even though you DO want to use WAAY more condoms and lube than you planned on using, ha ha.
Rule #4: Don’t Expect Anything
Maybe you won’t kiss some of the people there. Maybe you won’t fuck everyone. Maybe you won’t even touch one or two people in the room. It’s perfectly okay, right? Right!
It’s a sweet sexual feast for friends, not an impoverished prisoner’s feeding frenzy. There is no HAVE TO do anything. You may spend the whole night in the arms and legs of one particular person you didn’t think you would connect so well with, but it’s cool.
This is NOT the place to bring even one flicker of jealousy. Don’t expect anyone to do anything. Thus, everything that DOES happen is a blessing!
Rule #5: Declare Your Boundaries and Discuss Your Desires
Warm-up the scene with good intentions! Unless you all know each other very well and are comfortable with disrobing and fucking and sucking each other madly like it’s nothing, then it’s advisable to maybe have a little chat before the clothes start to fly all over the room.
Do you want to only do oral sexy stuff? Only anal sexy stuff? Only vagina/penis sexy stuff? Let everyone know what you feel like that night!
And if you feel like “meh, I’ll just go with the flow…” then realize how potentially wild that philosophy could be, on a night where you are (possibly… no, probably) in a strange room, with possibly beautiful strangers and unlimited libido!
All that being said: lay down some tentative directions for your intentions to go… but don’t be afraid to take some lovely detours along the way.
Rule #6: Don’t Say Anything Negative
Seriously. Try not to be critical. Of anything. Even the most sarcastic, smart-ass cynical, jaded douchebag on earth should be able to find one moment of bliss-affirming happiness to focus on when they are surrounded by the sexiest of sexy options!
And since you’re NOT “That Guy” (please don’t be that guy), then instead you are The Other Guy: the guy who realized how awesome life is. He may state an observation of some minor imperfection in reality (the fact that there’s “only one bed” for five people, perhaps… AS IF that should create a problem!) But WON’T let that stop him from appreciating, enjoying and basking in the bounty that is spread out!
Seriously, even if you run out of condoms… try to not be a Debbie Downer about it. Just laugh it off, and say “wanna snuggle or smooch?” instead, and keep the good times going.
You’re at an orgy! If there is one place in the world for you to NOT bring your judgemental ego, please let it be here. Your mouth has more important things to do than complain right now. Suck something!
Read: 5 Things Group Sex Porn Gets Wrong
Rule #7: Have Discretion about What Happened When You’re Done
Sure, you may want to shout it from the rooftops for a week when you first have it happen… but conducting yourself with a whopping lot of braggadocious boasting and obnoxious grandstanding is the best way to possibly never be invited back to such an occasion.
It’s probably best to not post pictures of your orgy or threesome on the internet… unless it was publicized as such. Many people will not have group sex, and for those that will: they probably are not that open with everyone in their lives about it.
I can’t generalize all group sex lovers, but I know that all of us who were involved in this orgy were:
1) cool with private cell phone pictures and videos being taken for personal use only, and
2) NOT cool with broadcasting it on Twitter or Facebook or any other social media.
This one was for our memories and for our storytelling moments… not to be seen by anyone’s eyes except ours.
Read: Threesome Rules for Poly Couples
So yes, you may not have to “take this secret to your grave,” it may not be that seriously private (and if it is: then say nothing and silently enjoy sex heaven), but regardless:
Respect the boundaries and requests and the privacy of everyone involved. Support everyone. Encourage everyone. Admire everyone. Hug everyone. Touch everyone. Kiss everyone. Connect to everyone. And appreciate everyone. Because there is nothing in the world as miraculously connecting as being arms and legs and tongues and genitals deep in wild passionate group sex.
It’s rare, it’s special, and it takes focus and faith, but if it happens… Love every moment of it!
Rule #8: Slow Down
Oh, and one last rule for group sex: don’t rush. Really don’t rush, unless time is not a luxury you can afford to spend exploring each other.
I was so excited to enjoy this one lovely voluptuous goddess I met at the orgy that I asked her if she wanted to fuck about three minutes after we both realized we were insanely attracted to each other’s beautiful physique. And she said “yes”. But… we didn’t fuck.
She wisely chose to ssss-llll-oooo-wwww things down so she could enjoy a wonderful variety of oral sex options, some tit-fucking, some beautiful caressing and massaging, and some amazing foreplay tension build-up, before we got to actually fucking. And by the time she wanted me to be inside her… It was insanely explosive intimacy for the next hour between her and me! Oh lord, was it ever magnificent… and I just met her that night!
I’m living, feeling and being the dream, ladies and gentlemen. I pray you get many chances to taste your dreams too.
Fore more on group sex etiquette, see our Tips for Your First Group Sex Experience.
What are your rules for group sex?
In love,
Addi Stewart
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