Penis Problems and How to Solve Them

When he was good, it was very very good, but when he was bad… Usually, your penis is old faithful! He rises to the occasion like the soldier that he is, but sometimes he’s unruly or on sick leave.

Here are some pesky penis problems, and how to solve them.

Solutions for Your Penis Problems

Erectile Dysfunction

If your erections aren’t hard enough, or falter in the middle of action, you might have ED.

Some guys expect a constant, rock-hard boner. But nature can’t keep up with your imagination! If you experience occasional malfunctions, it’s probably normal. If you’re 78 years old, your erection won’t be the same as it was at 19.

Check with your doctor to make sure you don’t have health problems like heart disease or diabetes. If you’re healthy, just relax and go with the flow. Accept the ups and downs, and enjoy yourself.


You might think your dick should be a rocket 24/7, but when your erection never goes away, it’s a medical condition called Priapism. You’re not horny, and orgasm won’t relieve it. It’s painful too.

See a doctor immediately. Don’t be embarrassed. It’s a medical emergency, and the longer it goes on, the worse it gets. You need damage control fast. Treatments aren’t for the faint of heart—needles to drain blood from your erection, ice packs on your perineum and testicles, surgery to reroute blood flow. The best you can hope for is that the medication works without this stuff. Good thing it’s rare.

Penile Fracture

Rough sex marathons or an aggressive partner on top can literally break your dick. Or Jackass stunts à la Johnny Knoxville. Not fun. The fibrous tissue in your erection snaps, and voilà, your cock starts to turn into an eggplant. This is an emergency.

It can happen while masturbating, so lay off the fast and furious. And if you hear a popping sound during sex and start to swell and bruise, get into an ambulance. You’ll be treated with anti-inflammatories, ice, procedures to stop internal bleeding and to repair your urethra.

HPV Warts and other STIs

To care for your prize asset, it’s a good idea to get checked regularly for STIs of all sorts, as most penis infections won’t be visible and some don’t have any symptoms—except to ruin the party later on.

So warts and other outbreaks might look upsetting, but look on the bright side—they are showing you what’s there, and that’s a good thing.

There are hundreds of strains of the human papillomavirus, and dozens of other sexually transmitted infections. Some have cures, some have management protocols, and some you’re stuck with.

Lower your risk with condoms and safer activites. See a doctor right away if you see or feel anything—the best odds, after prevention, are accosting the illnesses early.

Don’t freak out if you “have something.” Man up and take care of it—learn all you can about your particular situation and how to pose the least risk to your partners.

Peyronie’s disease

If you’re born with a penis that swings a little to the left or tilts upward, congratulations, you might make her squirt!

But if a banana boner suddenly appears out of nowhere, you might have Peyronie’s disease. It’s caused by small traumas to the penis tissue, usually recurring rather than one break. Some plaque results in the tissue in response to the tears, and causes a curvature in the penis. Sometimes it’s painful, but often there’s no feeling at all.

There are medication and surgical interventions that might be required, or you might be told to give it a rest while it heals itself.

Have you experienced any of these penis problems? Care to share? Leave a comment!

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