Polyamory: It’s a Small World

The Untouchables: A Love Story

I have a sexy dream. A dream where we all live in a world that allows us to simply speak the truth in our hearts, and let our dreams come true.

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We could all spend our days telling each other how lovely and passionate we feel for each other, and then we could communicate ways to connect and create joy and happiness like never before. We would not shame each other for speaking our inner truth, we would just listen to it, and decide whether or not we would want to share the same sexy scenarios in life with the person in front of us speaking their emotional truth.

I dream that a Playboy-Mansion-like paradise could exist for all of us pleasure-craving mortals, if we would not live in a state of monogamous and religious constricted sexual scarcity. I have a sexy dream that one day: THIS GLOBAL PASSION WILL BE POSSIBLE, NOT IMPOSSIBLE!

But… today, it’s not possible with nearly as many people as I dream it to be. Polyamory is still something that I would guess less than 5% of the population practices, so your chances of finding someone on the same wavelength as you is pretty damn rare and lucky! Besides the marital-minded monogamous masses, which are like 80% off limits to our intimate existence, there’s a shitload of potentials, possibles, maybe-so’s, pondering-its, on the fence types.

And they’re kinda-sorta fun to communicate with, philosophize around, debate, and educate as we sit with drinks at a bar and bittersweetly realize we are ravenously attracted to each other physically, but philosophically are potentially diametrically opposed beyond orgasmic salvation, when you tell them “I don’t do exclusivity, I believe in erotic agency and open frolicking! You don’t?!”

You MAY have an ice cube’s hope in Hades to cool their jealous jets and get them to try polyamory or some little preview of such. Good luck!

I say all this to say, even though there are some people who are 50/50 or 80/20 about polyamory: THERE. ARE. UNTOUCHABLES.


And for ME, when I find a polyamorous untouchable, my heart breaks into a billion little tiny tortured pieces, and I somewhat shut the fuck down. I don’t even try to be myself. I CAN’T. I honestly have gotten to the point where I am not able to express all my thoughts and feelings and even job experiences around some patriarchal guy’s very very traditional wife.

If there’s an Islamic couple having dinner with my circle of friends, how far can I go about discussing my experiences in sex clubs and my willingness to share lovers and my own body? Like, seriously. I can wish and hope and dream that they are a super-advanced, open-marriage practicing couple, but… how many of those exist, and practice swinging like that? VERY. FEW.

There are some people I just REFUSE to reveal my polyamorous heart to, because it just leads to heartbreak for me. People in arranged marriages, women who come from very conservative sexual cultures, most Christians and Muslims, and such.

I am a nudist, a relationship revolutionary, a porn star, and a nude model. I don’t really have time to hide my reality from people, so I just reveal only the parts of the conversation about myself that they can comprehend. If they ask about my sex life, I choose one person (out of the many I’m with!!!) to speak about, usually the last person I was with, and carry on the narrative with them in mind.

I only drop the P-bomb when I WANT to have that kind of deep connection with someone. Not everyone is ready to be touched by the truth.

It’s sad but it’s real. Just hug it, don’t fight it.

Not everyone will understand your poly.

Carry on gracefully.

In love,
Addi Stewart

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