Physical Intimacy without Communication

There’s some people you’re real comfortable with, and there are wonderful benefits of achieving such a status with them.

You know, not having to dress up all the time when you get social, not having to be all nice-nice when you feel like saying “okay, get the fuck out, I want to sleep alone tonight”, and other nice little things, like farting and burping in front each other like husband and wife except you don’t have the marriage business mucking up your common law abode of sin and lust! Win-win, I say.

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Regardless, there’s sometimes a downside that doesn’t get much analysis, ironically because it manifests from a lack of behavioural awareness, and it’s something that is easy to do when people achieve a level in their relationship where they start going through the motions. You know, the basics are established, the feelings are familiar, and the decisions are almost chosen before you even think about it.

This can be good, when you’re in a state of high communication. You already know. Maybe you start finishing each other’s sentences, or doing things for each other that your partner was already thinking about—psychic sexy stuff like that.

But the downside to going thru the motions, is when communication is not as present as the sex, the contact, the behaviour and the habits. Things like a quick text, and then a rendezvous that involves lots of physical connection, but not so much verbal. And then it can end just as silently. Clothes get put on, basic formalities are shared, and then poof! Like a ghost in the night, gone again. Until the next feeling to text and fuck.

And this is how a number of relationships hum along, undisturbed by the words and comments describing what is actually going on! And if that’s what people want, ultimately, it’s not my place to judge.

There is some kind of ostensibly dysfunctional pattern emerging in this scenario, and it cannot continue undisturbed if the sex and sweetness is to sustain itself. It will evaporate at some point, either from lack of commitment to communicating the contract of the no-strings-attached agreement, or one person needing more talking than the other person is willing to want, and that’s not happening when people are fucking for fun and refusing to open up more.

That’s all I’m trying to say about it: see it, and decide what you are going to do, if you feel otherwise than “yeah, let’s just fuck!”

In love,
Addi Stewart