There are always a few people who linger in your heart and mind and genitals. And you never forget what they do to you when you touch. Ooh, it’s the magic that we all want and dream and cream our jeans for. Ha!
Don’t be ashamed, we’re all adults here. And even if we act like jealous children sometimes, we all still know it’s not right… eventually.
Yup. This is about the shitty shit. Can’t have roses without manure and dirt, baby. Can’t have sunshine without rainy days. It’s a fact of life and love.
Being poly is really about navigating ever-shifting waters where pirates, storms invaders, colonizers, sharks, diseases and all kinds of scurvy menace your voyage to the New World.
You never know what it could be, but there are a bajillion obstacles that can get in the way of poly playtime.
I have one lover who I share marvelous super awesome magical chemistry with every time I see her, but there are times when we don’t see each other for a month if not six weeks. And sometimes we speak most every day of that separation period.
Absence does make the heart grow fonder, but closeness makes the love grow stronger.
This partner and I have consistent obstacles in our joy-making consistency. Maybe you recognize a few of these.
- Work schedules not aligning (she is 9 to 5, I work late nights.)
- Partner discomfort (sometimes her partner may not feel like they should be open, which is respectable, but also an obstacle.)
- Depression (my struggles last year got in the way of all my relationships, and this one was no exception.)
- Diet (her changes in diet and exercise have affected her energy, and thus sometimes she doesn’t feel as affectionate.)
- Partner distress (sometimes she doesn’t want to hear about the partners I’m with, and sometimes I’m with them, so I have less time for her.)
These things are all variables that have to be negotiated before we can have fun. It’s all worth it, but it’s all got to be taken care of. This relationship is one of very powerful truth and security. To make sure it’s protected is an important task.
Whatever your obstacles are, do your best to clear them out for healthy poly relationships to bloom.
If you’re poly, you’re probably not even seeing each partner as much as possible anyways!
Making sure it’s all clear for landing is a great way to fly your dreams about. Clarity is the most beautiful thing to see together.