Openly Poly People vs. Secretly Poly People

In case you didn’t hear (or get exposed by), the world famous infidelity website Ashley Madison just had their entire database hacked and all of its users were dumped online. Famous abuser Josh Duggar was one of the first “outed” individuals who was allegedly secretly an active member of the notorious “cheaters” website, and there are reportedly thousands more nervous individuals, both men, women and others, who are shaking in their easily abandoned pants and skirts, wondering if their name being on that digital blacklist will mean that their name and reputation will forever be stained and pained by what the revelations claim. Not everyone actively uses all the places they are signed up for on the internet, to be sure. But that might be one of the only places that an inactive profile might not be as publicly damning as much as having a mere presence on the website!

All that being said, I was reading an article about this in the local daily paper, and it had claimed that “most students in a class that were informed about this disclosure were more comfortable about every fetish possible, than they were comfortable with polyamory, and even monogamy with extra-marital action.”

Wow! Are we still at that level of resistance to responsible romantic relationships, as a society? I was shocked and dismayed by the fact that it was suggested that arguably the most communicative, complete and mature style of connection was still not being considered capable of function led me to realize the possible truth of the statistics that proclaim “only 5% of our population is polyamorous”, and stopped once again to realize how rare and unique this path of connection is.

Millions of people are apparently more comfortable with cheating, as well as OFFICIALLY processing their desire to cheat on a digital community board and networking space, than seek to practice the social and psychological (and then of course, physical) aspects of polyamory.

So this inspired me to stop, and have a “fantasy reality check”. Since polyamory is the manifestations of my fantasy life, I have to stop and reinspect the depth of the beautiful unions that I have been choosing. I know of quite a few women who have been graciously bid adieu because they strictly wanted monogamy, and I strictly wanted polyamory. I could count the amount of women I’ve said “goodbye, cherie!” on two hands and then some! Polyamory is not for everybody… but in theory, it could be!

So, this is just a reminder: THANK the positively, practical, pleasant, pure polyamorous people in your life! It’s a special path to walk, and those who walk it with you should be cherished. And if you are in the list of people that were using Ashley Madison… maybe you could try using this blog for your sexual fantasies instead!

In love,
Addi Stewart

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