You just never know, sometimes. This poly life will swing a romantic soul back and forth, to and fro, up and down, like nothing else I know in this world. Do stock market traders deal with this much turmoil and heartache? I wonder, but I know that I can’t just walk out of the stock exchange at 5 PM, take off my suit and tie, and grab a beer to shut down.
Emotions buried alive never die. They are always there, which is why this story is so powerful to me. I had the best breakup (perhaps only a pause) than any other that I’ve experienced in this glorious roller-coaster year of love.
This one lovely angel who I met at a party a few months ago was the giver of the GREATEST surprise kiss out of nowhere that I had possibly EVER felt in my entire life—I nearly fainted from the chemistry power of connection! Holy damn was it awesome.
We had circled each other for SIX YEARS, yet there was always some obstacle between our intimate introduction. Another lover of mine actually said to me, “Can’t you tell she likes you? I can’t even watch it when you two are around each other…” I was shocked that she was able to observe this, and I remember laughing.
So we had that MAGIC kiss, and once again fate prevented us from having another. We were bother super busy, and she had a burlesque event to throw, so it was a few weeks before we saw each other and hugged. We still weren’t able to ACTUALLY get together at that time though.
Then… a few days ago, I got this message from her: “I’m happy that things are going well in your life, but I have to let you know that I met someone, and things have really taken off. I’m starting something with them and have decided not to pursue any other relationships. I still wish you the best and will be happy to see you at events and anywhere else we run into each other!”
At first I was DEVASTATED. I wanted to kiss her again so so much. That first taste was explosive. Why not a second? But then, I accepted it and responded, “I wish you two the best,” and I meant it. Compersion is something we poly people practice. If her and I are supposed to get together, it will happen one fine day. Six years is nothing compared to how long I’ve waited to love some people!
Her goodbye note was SO kind and respectful, so gentle and honest, and so clear that I had no regret or misgivings of our special moment. I wasn’t even mad!
When I see her next, I’m gonna give her the BIGGEST hug, and be super happy for her new relationship! I have lovers, and I have hope. Always.