What Is a Polyamory Unicorn?

A lot of people have hangups about getting into a polyamorous relationship with a unicorn. What the hell is a unicorn, anyhow?

A unicorn is a person who is having sex with you and your partner, but who doesn’t have the relationship stability that you two have. At its most basic nature the unicorn represents a young girl or guy whom a couple uses for sex, but who doesn’t enjoy the status of an equal partner.

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A lot of poly people get all worked up about unicorns for various reasons. They say that polyamory should be about everyone equally sharing in the decisions and troubles of the relationship. A unicorn is more like a fuck toy that the couple can dump at any time.

A unicorn is like a long-term casual threesome. Many poly people feel that couples who hunt single young people to spice up their marriage are problematic.

What status does a unicorn have? Can he or she see other people? Are other penises welcome in the relationship? What happens when things go bad between the primary couple? Is the unicorn more involved with one partner than the other?

The whole thing sounds like fun, but it can be horribly unequal, as opposed to a triad. Often it’s a married guy trying to add an extra pussy after talking his current woman into it because things are stale.

The people who have trouble with unicorns say that the best way to arrange things is to have a completely fair triad, where everyone dates everyone. This looks like a triangle, as opposed to a T shape—a unicorn horn hanging out the middle of a couple’s otherwise solid relationship.

The main thing is that people with opinions can go fuck themselves. If you’re a unicorn, or you’re looking for a unicorn, just be aware of what you’re getting into. Always have an exit strategy ready, and try to imagine what will happen if the bottom falls out of your situation.  

Also, of course, be safe.

In the end it doesn’t matter what other people think your relationship should look like. It’s all about what works for you in the moment you’re in. Why the fuck should married couples not adopt young sexy people and fuck them? I think it’s kind of beautiful.

If you’re a young person and you find an older couple to spoil you then go for it. If you’re a couple and you find a sweet little waif some place, take them in and teach them about life. Even if it gets crazy, it will make for great stories later.  

People are so fragile when it comes to everyone feeling safe and comfortable these days. It’s getting tiresome. The world needs more inappropriate madness.

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