A woman in the polyamory community that I used to date was back in town last weekend and we met up for drinks. She had all kinds of adventures to tell me about her travels and sexcapades and we made out a bit, too, for old times sake. It was amazing.
Sonja is a gorgeous African-American woman with killer curves and a real sense of adventure. She is married, and although they have a polyamorous relationship, she is the only one actively dating others. He likes to hear about her hookups as much as I do.
Sonja says that many people have a preference about partners, whether it is male or female or transgender, or being drawn to a particular age group or culture. For her, she says, diversity is her preference.
Here are the ways, according to Sonja, in which polyamory can benefit the lover who can’t be pinned down.
Polyamory is an obvious solution for women and men who love both men and women.
“I was empowered to marry my main partner and commit to being with him forever because I knew I didn’t have to sacrifice the part of me who loves to be with women,” Sonja says. “A lot of women enjoy making love to other women and it’s something I didn’t want to lose. The obvious option was not to give this up, but to give this part of me to my partner, so he could enjoy it too. Sometimes he likes to watch, and he always likes to hear the dirty deets when he bends me over the kitchen sink.”
Polyamory is the most liberating orientation for those who love to travel and those who love the world.
Sonja is a people person and loves to experience what another country or culture offers, and enjoys meeting people from all backgrounds and learning about them.
“I would feel really cut off from truly connecting with others when I’m working in Japan, Mexico, Germany, or anywhere else if the option to really get to know people intimately wasn’t there.”
Poly can be about diverse sex practices, kinks, experiments and openness, as well as about many partners.
“Many poly people are kinky and find a community that shares their particular fetish, whether it’s spanking, bondage, submission, or anything else,” Sonja says. “But there’s that old joke about being trisexual, trying anything. For someone who loves novelty or simply wants to experience a diverse range of sexual pleasure, polyamory means you can meet people to share unlimited adventures with.”
That’s one thing Sonja and I have in common! We both love to try new things and bond with someone beautiful over sexy experiences.
People who enjoy both vanilla and kink don’t have to fit into one or the other.
“Kinky people can explore whatever they are into with like-minded people they date, and vanilla people can settle into a satisfying relationship with lots of the good old fashioned basics they connect with best. But what if you enjoy both?”
Sonja’s diverse tastes can all be accommodated by polyamory. “I can get nasty kinky with my husband and just love to dress up in rubber and leather for him. But I like the simple sweetness of just making out with someone for hours and then giving him a handjob or getting straight to plain old sex. Polyamory means the best of both worlds.”