Most of the romcom Hollywood movies I’ve EVER seen are based upon the questions: Who do I choose? and This one or that one? When I watch those movies, I think: This WHOLE fiasco could be solved in TEN minutes if you all just sat down and talked about all being together!
I don’t see a need for either or when it’s possible to negotiate both in polyamory. I think that with the right amount of communication, personal freedom, interpersonal trust—all with an open heart—there doesn’t have to be someone going home empty handed and brokenhearted.
As long as the love story happens, that’s all I care about. So that’s why I’ve written some reasons why poly is my preferred choice of love fun!
6 Ways Polyamory Benefits My Life
- Fantasy exploration. In my world I have the ability to courageously and maturely ask for “impossible” fantasies with my partners which allows for unprecedented and unexpected pleasures.
- Next level freedom and trust. I never worry about new attractions or open flirtations with my lovers because we discuss these possibilities beforehand. I am open and honest with each new partner about where I am on the polyamory spectrum, to ensure that we are on the same page.
- Poly network of support. When life throws you curve balls and more, you can often count on your poly family, and even its community, to come to your aid. Polyamory means many loves, but also many helping hands.
- Less jealousy, more compersion. There seems to be more trust naturally built in to the polyverse. I don’t worry about lovers checking my cell phone or hacking my email because I have more than one partner. We talk openly about each other and our feelings as they arise.
- Constant learning through negotiation. I can’t say having multiple partners isn’t challenging, but I can say it enables a broader perspective of human connection and provides ongoing opportunities for growth through negotiations of boundaries, interpersonal conflicts, and beyond.
- Higher level of safe sexual health. With the openness and encouragement to be honest and frank about sexual experiences (no need for lying or slut-shaming between partners) individuals can make clear decisions on how to protect themselves.
I’m sure most vegans love their life choices, as most meat eaters love theirs. And I’m sure quite a few cheaters, liars, and players even love their life choices. But I LOVE the choice to be polyamorous, free, and NOT a cheater or a liar to ANY of my partners or lovers—it’s magnificent!
There are countless advantages to being poly, but the best part about being poly is NOT being able to finish counting the number of blessings you are enjoying. I don’t really think about the number of lovers I have. I just enjoy them dearly, six ways from Saturday Night!