There are as many reasons people choose polyamory as there are people who choose it.
7 Reasons People Choose a Poly Lifestyle
1. Born that Way or Orientation
Some poly people see their choice as a kind of sexual orientation, or describe it as something they were born with, and not really a choice at all. While many naturally seek pair bonding or serial monogamy, polyamory is also natural and those who feel strongly wired that way may choose to approach sex and dating with multiple partners in mind.
2. It’s a Phase
Some people choose polyamory temporarily, or change their mind later and settle into more traditional relationships. They may be in between serious relationships or want to avoid making a commitment, or they may be in very committed polyamorous relationships, but ultimately decide it’s not for them.
Just as many people go in and out of polyamory, returning to it or going monogamous depending on life circumstances or the desires of their partner(s).
3. Monogamy Goes Against Nature
Some polys believe monogamy goes against nature, and polyamorous relationships are truer to human nature . Monogamy is not a higher ideal to strive for, it is something that religion or culture imposed in order to artificially control our real sexual selves.
In light of all the divorce and infidelity, it makes sense to some of us that monogamy is not a successful experiment and that we should find ways to work our natural biological sexuality into our societies and cultures.
4. High Sex Drive or Love of Sexual Variety
While it’s important to note that polyamory is not just about sex, but about an open heart and mind to more than one relationship or commitment, it can’t be denied that sex is fundamental too. Many monogamous people have a high sex drive and enjoy that with one person, but others pursue different partners to satisfy their sexual desires and needs.
5. Low Sex Drive
Say what? Some men and women who have a low sex drive, but want to maintain the emotional bonds of romantic relationships, choose open relationships so that the sexual needs of their partners can be met.
6. Falling in Love with a Poly Partner
Many people choose polyamory because someone they meet or fall for is poly. They may or may not have considered an open relationship or maintaining multiple partners before, but their new love interest is poly and so a new option or opportunity presents itself.
7. Cultural Background
Just as many of us are used to social and cultural monogamy, many of us come from backgrounds or cultures where some form of polyamory is practiced. Many countries have traditions that allow, encourage, or expect multiple wives. This custom often had pragmatic roots, not personal sexual variety in mind—for example, if many men were lost in war, there weren’t enough men to go around.
There are many kinds of social arrangements and as our societies become more diverse, we have different beliefs and needs.
These are just a few reasons. Tell us yours!