What to Do if You are Poly-Curious

Five years ago, I didn’t know much about polyamory and didn‘t know anyone who identified as poly (at least I didn’t know that they did!) Some people like to keep this to themselves because of the misunderstandings and judgements that exist. Now I have a best friend who is in a “kitchen table” poly relationship with two others. Writing posts for this blog and asking her questions has taught me a lot about the lifestyle, and I sometimes feel poly-curious. Here are a few suggestions if you are also interested in finding out more about polyamory as an alternative to monogamous relationships.

1. Online resources. There are many good websites such as More than Two which give a good overview of polyamory, with explanations, terms, and examples of the many types of poly relationships that exist.

2. Talk to polyamorists. If you don’t know someone personally, you can join many online forums to meet polys who are happy to answer your questions.

3. Attend workshops and seminars. As the poly population grows, so do the resources and information available. The bigger your city is, the more poly info get-togethers you will find.

4. Go on a poly date. I’ve met several polyamorists online who have asked me out, even though I don’t identify as poly. I was curious, so I went on a first date and learned a lot. He was a nice guy but also lived too far away for my liking.

5. Explore poly in a relationship. If you have had an inkling that you might be poly or have found that monogamy isn’t working for you, take the plunge. If it’s not right for you, you will find out pretty quickly. Just be open and honest about where you are in your exploration with potential partners. 

After dating a poly and talking extensively with someone involved in a poly fidelity relationship, I’ve discovered that it just doesn’t work for me. I don’t like to share my partner… and that’s okay. We’re all wired differently when it comes to relationships.

5 Signs that Polyamory May Not Be Right For You

How were you introduced to poly, and what kind of polyamory relationship are you in?

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