Remember double dating? Maybe you’re too young to remember how cool it was back in the day? How couples would rather hang out together and get a kick out of planning a date rather than letting it unfold spontaneously. I’m trying to bring this old school way of dating back within my own circle of friends, some poly, some not.
Many people have a way of compartmentalizing not only their lives, but also their relationships. Some of us have very close friends that have never met one another. Some polyamorous people have relationships that they keep very separate, but most polys embrace the intermingling of partners even though one-on-one time is still essential in poly relationships. Poly time management is always a challenge – you never want any partner to feel left out or slighted.
The healthiest poly relationships I know are the ones where triads and quads are friends as well as lovers. One way to foster this friendship between partners is the classic double date – bonding while having fun. But if you want it to happen, you’ll have to take the lead and organize the date. Busy lives keep many people apart (polys and otherwise) even when there is a great affection for each other.
Double Date Ideas
Board Games – Keep the retro vibe alive with a classic board game. Play in teams and swap partners. Friendly competition ignites sparks.
Racetrack – Maybe it’s just me, but I love a little gambling amongst friends, and this is an enthusiastic crowd environment.
Amusement Park – A place where you can switch partners for particular rides, laugh, be scared, and let loose.
Picnic – Food always brings people together. Make it a potluck for extra fun and as a way to share who you are and your preferences.
Vacation – Always a great way to get to know people really well. Start with a weekend getaway to test the waters.
Double Date Tips
Plan well in advance to be respectful of every person’s schedule.
Take everyone’s comfort levels into consideration.
Have a backup plan for cancellation or weather interference.
Go in without expectations.
Try again, if the first time is a bust.
Polys: Do you enjoy double dating? Any ideas you can share?