Instant Chemistry vs. Polyamory Reality

It never happens like the movies. Monogamy rarely does. Rarely if it does, but damn near never. Especially that movie idea that there’s some kinda automatic connection that’s just magic. Hell naw! Most of the time, people see people they like, but nobody makes a move.

Sometimes people see people they like and try to make it happen, but it’s not the right time, and they give up quickly. Once in a while, a few chances to connect with someone come to pass, and someone playing for love is lucky to get a few swings at the ball, when most people actually strike out real quick!

My belabored point is: shit takes time, yo! Polyamory is honestly more like that movie title… The Waiting Game. Is it like that movie? Welp, that’s your life story to decide, and I don’t judge nobody. I just observe truths and eat popcorn while smiling like Michael Jackson wearing a red zipper jacket!

I have waited weeks for many lovers. I have waited MONTHS for quite a few other lovers. And please do not get it twisted, confused, mistaken or misconstrued: I have waited YEARS for some lovers in my life to come into my heart!

I did not delay or demand or deny the moment for a second longer or shorter, and I enjoyed it for exactly as long as it took for the relationships to exist, and they often ended up being bliss.

Sometimes the option to be with someone will not come to pass, until some time comes to pass. And some people say “fuck it” and move on real quick. And to them, I laugh.

I wait because that’s one of the joys of polyamory—you can be with some people while you wait for other people to want to be with you! It’s a pretty simple concept to process, in my opinion.

But here’s the twist: how long will you wait before the chance for love changes in your brain? You never know. But some people’s passion just doesn’t last forever. That’s a reality that has to be faced when it’s an actuality because then you are faking the funk and that’s not worthy of trust, fun, love or none of the above.

I acknowledge that not everyone has the guts to wait for years for someone to see their connection potential. I’m a little love thirsty, and by a little I mean Casanova level. That being said, how long have you waited for someone’s stars to align with yours? Do you have rules for it? Like this-opportunity-will-explode-in-five-days type James Emotional Bondage action?

Whatever works for your happiness, sexual survival and mental health, I say! I waited seventeen years to be with a goddess once, and when we FINALLY made love: IT WAS HEAVEN.

Addi Stewart

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