My word is like titanium these days. I swear that I would have to get run over by a bus to cancel a date these days! I just KNOW myself, my time, my schedule, my moods, my desires, and my conflicts of interest. I just don’t double book anymore.
I have polyamory kinda sorta down to a science, and I have WAY more successes and healthy relationships than breakups and drama and failures. If I didn’t have lovers in double digits, and didn’t have like only one cancelled date per year and one breakup per year, I might question the validity and integrity of my sexuality. But hell naw!
I genuinely am at the point where I have one master schedule and keep my love life basically to ONE lover per day. That’s it, that’s all.
I schedule dates two weeks into the future, and keep the date too! I don’t just say “Let’s get together next Saturday!” And then when next Saturday comes, not call or text or keep my word. Either the day before, or early in the day of, I will reconnect with that wonderfully forward thinking angel, and say “Hi! Are you still interested in getting together?”
I don’t take people’s time for granted. That’s just not something that is acceptable or functional in polyamory. You just become a flake, a tease and a manipulator if you don’t keep your word and your schedule.
So I ask you: how do you keep your time on point?
Do you struggle to keep your promises to people in your poly circle? Are you poly, but with one person mostly, and are you constantly cancelling or re-scheduling other connections? Are you breaking dates with one person to hook up with another, at the last minute? Are you dropping the ball in one relationship because of the way you are conducting yourself in another relationship? That’s just not kosher meat to serve.
Whether it takes a breakup of a favorite lover, or a family friend calling you out even though you aren’t intimately connected to them, or it takes an accident of some kind with a physical impact to slow you down and make you re-evaluate your reality… it’s good, in the long run.
Because fucking shit up every day of the week isn’t cute, and dysfunctional polyamory affects way more than just you.
Check yo self, before you wreck yo self!
Do something to organize your poly love life properly!
The benefits far outweigh the costs. There’s only one way to see the beauty of this truth.