I’m not alone out here, trying to revolutionize and ramp up your sweet sex life, so you don’t EVER have to complain about why you’re not genitals-deep in some freaky romp on a Friday night!
There are solutions to every problem, my erotic friends! And whether I solve it or someone else does: we can make it work work work twerk like Rihanna hustling overtime at Zanzibar and the Brass Rail! Silly crazy shout out to Sunny Megatron, fellow sex blogger and erotic educator in this wild world of relationships and porn! She raises a point I’d like to repeat and expand upon.
What does it take to be poly?
Sunny says it only takes two things: the willingness to communicate and the willingness to stay self-aware!
This is like the practical version of what I suggested a few weeks ago but in more esoteric terms. I said all I really want from someone is love and truth, but since these concepts are the ultimate in nebulous, malleable, subjective philosophies, I step down from my hippie cloud pedestal and onto a more stable foundation of discussion.
If you practice exercising your mouth muscles and doing your self-conscious curls, you will be in good shape to handle any and every poly (and monogamous) scenario you are saddled with solving sexually for yourself and the others present.
I may have touched on these issues before, but there’s a reason why I revisit old topics in polyamory and in life: it’s possible to reflect upon what has changed from the first time you had the experience and the last, and it’s good to reflect on the progress, evolution and maybe even de-evolution and failure you’ve experienced since then!
It’s like visiting an old lover, and seeing what has changed since you last connected! Maybe you know some new moves, maybe they do… maybe you have a new haircut, maybe they shaved their pubic hair in a different way! You never know what is new or what is old and intriguing in a new way, so it’s good to return to your roots, as they say.
Even if you don’t ACTUALLY communicate with your ex-lover, just revisiting the idea of communicating with them will spark your self-awareness and internal truth measuring stick. You will see where you are emotionally, if you just ask yourself “hmmm, I wonder how so-and-so is doing, and what would it be like if we were to go out on a reunion date?”
If your heart electrocutes itself with agony and your eyeballs start feeling like wow, it’s kinda dusty in here... as you wipe away a waterfall of tears, then there’s your self-awareness kicking you in the face and telling you, “Hey, you big sexy dummy! Did you even know you were trying to run away from that relationship and those feelings? No? Well, those chest-wracking sobs of sadness are the reality check you were too lazy to cash and deposit in your brain!”
In conclusion, I just have to give another big fat shout out to Sunny for succinctly stating what I’ve been trying to teach my clever, convoluted, cheesy self:
Polyamory is simple if you’re honest and clear about your intentions and emotions. Love and Truth are all it takes to make any relationship work, but you WILL need MORE love and MORE truth if you want to honorably conduct a relationship with more than one person!
Thus, you will need to communicate more with yourself and with your partners. If you can grease those kinky wheels as often as humanly possible, you will be strapped into the roller coaster of romance for as long as you can hold on to the bar, the boobs, the balls, and the brains of the sexy riders who are taking the same triple-loop journey!
Talk, talk, talk as much as you need to.
Then have sex to celebrate talking so much.
Then enjoy the post-coital silence from fucking like rabbits on MDMA!
Then, talk about what it was like to fuck more than you ever thought possible…
Rinse and repeat.