Let’s face it, this whole idea of romantic monogamous love is a sham. It’s an unholy conjoining of Christian morality and the prudish notions of the Victorian world. Life is short, and it just makes more sense to have a few different lovers on the go.
So many marriages fail all the time, and so many people are suffering in misery with partners who don’t fulfil them intellectually, sexually, or romantically. They may be giving or getting a little of what they want, but not everything.
The fact is that you sometimes have to shop at a few stores to find all the groceries you need, and you sometimes have to keep a few lovers to get every aspect of fulfilment you desire. Your partner is probably the same way. Nobody can be everything to everybody, and at this point in history, having a stiff upper lip is a recipe for disaster.
Why suffer in silence? Why compromise in order to mostly happier your square peg through the round hole? Tell your partner you love them, but you want to go out on some dates and have some other adventures and just see how it goes. If they want to dump you then it was probably a bad match to begin with. You’re just exposing the cracks that were there for years.
Basically, if you can’t have an absolutely honest talk with your significant other about what you want and what turns you on then you are in a shitty relationship. If you feel like you are always holding your tongue, or going away dissatisfied then you are in a shitty relationship. Find options or get out and then find options.
Chances are you’re making them miserable, too. If you’re not making them miserable then they are probably a horrible person for not being at all in tune to how unhappy you are. Dump them and go meet somebody fun. Life is too short to deal with people who aren’t gonna get with your level.
Plus, cheating is lame. You need to be honest and be with someone you can be honest with. You will feel better about yourself if there is someone to share your fantasies with, or someone you can explore your kinks with. If your partner doesn’t want to indulge you, then tell them you need the leash loosened a bit so you can go have a run on the grass.
Here’s a great article I just read on the BBC: “Polyamory relationships may be the future of love”