Directing and Dissecting Your Poly Life Story

How Do You Make Sense of Your Heart?

Sorry, Gene Roddenberry. Forget space! Love is the final frontier! And these are the voyages of the Heartship Enterprise! Our lifelong mission: to seek out new love and human relations. To boldly know joy like no one has known joy before! Cue spacey theme music. Say no to William Shatner’s lecherous advances. Kiss an alien humanoid.

Meet sexy singles and couples now at!

Ha ha, I digress. Love does that to my mind. Anyways, polyamory is like Star Trek meets NASA: experimenting with various devices to launch into new places for people to find the unknown magic that exists inside each other.

What metaphors and similes work to make sense of your sexual systems in life and love? Do you even use any? Is it a mystery that you just float along inside, not defining in any particular way (like an agnostic or an atheist of emotions, with no religious structure to the stuff inside).

What do you do to make your mind, body and soul harmonize in its understanding of what you have to offer your partners?

There are options. As many options as the imagination can manifest! May I illustrate a few for you? Merci beaucoup for your attention, mes amis!

I often think of basic communication in relationships as two alien creatures transmitting and attempting to beam information packages back and forth between their antennae and receptors, aiming for some kind of intellectual symbiosis or synchronicity.

Often, that’s exactly what it turns out to be, except more like the INDEPENDENCE DAY kind!!! Some other lover has nothing but negative static to transmit to you. So how will you interpret that? How will you receive that transmission? Do you declare war now? Is this MARS ATTACKS time? Or can you possibly transform this situation into a CLOSE ENCOUNTER OF THE THIRD KIND? See what I did there? I kinda smushed two concepts into one, right in front of our eyes.

The metaphor of aliens works, in a literal sense of humans exploring the cosmos like NASA does. But also, even just seeing your relationships through the lens of movies is also a possibility to make sense of them! Some people relate to characters in movies almost more than they can relate to themselves in real life!

But seriously, people do often use movie characters to express aspects of themselves that they can’t in real life. The role-playing catharsis is helpful in solving self-expression issues and determining what pieces of identity may and or may not be part of them.

There also is music, of course, and musicians on or off stage can easily represent the ideals and hopes and aspirations of many lovers and other stranger’s relationships. But that is like level one of metaphor and simile for love and sex. We probably all have love songs and ballads that capture our spirit.

I’d like to give a big shout out to Reid Mihalko for giving me another amazing metaphor this weekend! He gave four, but I’ll share this one first.

“When you are in love, you are high. And you are dating your dealer.”

Is that why breakups suck so bad? Because it’s like ending an addiction?

How many healthy relationships and healthy habits do we have in our heart?

And when it comes to poly, how many love drug dealers do we have in our lives?!?

Questions worth pondering, issues worth answering, and metaphors worth their weight in gold when it comes to finding clarity in your relationship reality.

Addi Stewart

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