Drake and Rihanna: Breakups to Make-ups

Celebrity Polyamory Alert!

Welp, to paraphrase the modern poet Shawn Carter: it was all good just a month ago!

Drake was all dapper-danned-up and out, speaking perfectly and moving confidently, being the perfect gentleman to RiRi as she collected her MTV Video Vanguard Award and ting… they had their public moment: Drake’s impossible-to-fail huge hug arms, the tiny little kiss on the cheek, the happy but awkward vibes from Miss Fenty, a woman who is A-BOUT her freedom and being a totally independent woman. (Word to the Beyoncé of Destiny’s Child, before she married Jay-Z and then became the dominant one in the relationship, but that’s another story.)

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Peace to all the broken hearts out there who were really, really, REALLY wishing and hoping Drake and Rihanna might get married.

But… it didn’t even last a month. Again. And so many people were like “Noooo! How could this beeee? They look so good together, awww.”

No, my friends. Nyet. Nein. Non. Nada. Nothing doing! It’s not happening. And it’s not ever going to happen how people dream it to happen.

Why? Because Drake is acting like a man who wants to be polyamorous, and everyone of the fans want him to settle down with a good girl like RiRi. NYET!

Celebrity relationships do not often last because it is the antithesis to everything the celebrity BECOMES A CELEBRITY TO DO IN LIFE!

How do we know? Easy, they always tell us without telling us, but people don’t want to take it for face value and accept the underlying truth.

The “official” reason for Drake and Rihanna’s break up, their media representatives say, is: “they had conflicting schedules, and just couldn’t work out time to see each other enough…”

That basically also means: “yeah, someone wants to fuck other people, and that doesn’t quite work in this scenario unfortunately, so it’s a wrap.”

Conflicting schedules? These people have private planes and make songs about flying lovers into town to have fun together, no matter what city in the world their paramour may be located in. If they wanted to practice fidelity and long-distance relations, it is a possibility.

If they wanted.

But if you were Drake, arguably the most popular musician on the planet right now, would you want to only be with ONE person?


So, this illusion the world was projecting on Drake and Rihanna wasn’t really real. It wasn’t even the first time they were trying to make something out of something that can’t be the something everyone thinks can be something. Back in the days of his Take Care album, Rihanna was also on that, flirting and having fun with Drizzy. They were together. Then they weren’t A similar excuse was used. And it’s just not meant to happen.

Celebrities often have waaaay more sex than the average person does, so this thought of settling down with one other famous celebrity is not that appealing. This is why Eric Benet ends up in sex therapy counseling, even though he got married to HALLE fucking BERRY, for God’s sake.

Drake and Rihanna are not going to get married any time soon, my friends. They are undeclared polyamorists making music about monogamy to a bunch of monogamists, pseudo-monogamists, cheaters, liars, players, and polyamorists wishing for a higher level of truth and honesty.

But to do polyamory like a superstar, Drake and Rihanna both need to learn, understand and know: it takes work work work work work…


In love,
Addi Stewart

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