Can’t play a game if you don’t know the rules, and you won’t be allowed to play the game if you abandon the players on the court! To apply this analogy to the realm of polyamory relationships, we can see some truths clearly if we ask ourselves certain questions, and juxtapose the answers with certain realizations about desire vs. limitation, and control vs. freedom. Game on!
Five Questions to Define Your Boundaries
1. Do you treat all your relationships with the same standards, or do you allow flexibility depending on the person and circumstance?
2. Do you forgive easily or do you never allow a person into your inner circle of emotion if they cause you pain and heartbreak?
3. If a lover asked you to do something new sexually involving a third party, what is your instinctual feeling?
4. Do you feel comfortable asking your lovers to participate in sexual situations involving other people?
5. Are you aware of the maximum amount of relationships you can accommodate without them breaking down?
Five Reasons to Know Your Boundaries
Your boundaries are meant to protect the delicate peace in your heart from the jealous greed of your ego.
Your boundaries are the limits of the levels of manifested potential you have actualized in your pleasure journey. Fantasies may exist beyond your boundaries, but a part of you knows what you are truly able to achieve, within your willpower.
Your boundaries are hopefully strong enough to protect you from your own ignorance, as in they are not quite supposed to be the very edge of your threshold. Death is the final boundary, and it’s wise not to play ANYWHERE near it!
Your boundaries advertise your self-respect to others who don’t know you, and who may feel inclined to exploit you. Nuh-uh.
Your boundaries help build trust between your spirit and your partners’ hearts, as in, if there are no violations of ANY of the emotional, intellectual, physical or spiritual boundaries established between people, then ostensibly everything occurring in the relationship will be positive, mutually beneficial, beautiful and fulfilling, and every moment will be something valuable and plentiful. Each step will be a step forward and not a step into danger, if each step is taken with all parties boundaries considered wisely.
And the punishment for the violation of boundaries is yours to decide. Just know that the punishment really should fit the crime. Which makes for some interesting verdicts and rehabilitation methods for a relationship system such as polyamory.
Explore adventurously, my friends and lovers. Hope your interactions are all win-win!
Read: Communicating Polyamory Boundaries with Partners
Sincerely yours in love,
Addi
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