Poly Relationships

When You Can’t Explain What You’re Feeling in Relationships

First Date at Coffee Shop

There are things that just can’t be explained. And I’m not just talking about the JFK assassination or where Jimmy Hoffa’s body is buried. I’m talking about the things in our hearts and minds that cannot be expressed in words and letters that make sense to people other than ourselves. But we FEEL them still.

When the feeling is strong enough and deep enough, then we must act on these feelings, even if we can’t explain them fully to other people. Unfortunately, sometimes we have to try and express the inexpressible, before and/or after we express it with our words and/or actions. And in polyamory, there are some unique nuances to bear in mind and to navigate at all times, both emotionally and verbally.

Being with different people means being with different TYPES of people, because nobody is the same. That’s why the concept of Love Languages resonates so far and wide. There are different ways of speaking out the infinite energy of the endless human heart.

We all have our own connections and versions and methods of getting the feelings out of us. But what if we don’t know WHY we feel something, but we know we feel it? Then we have to make a choice: either act on the emotion before we know the specific reason we feel it, or don’t act on the emotion.

If we don’t act, we still experience the feelings internally while in the relationship with the person or people who are causing us to feel that way. It can lead to confusing moments, unexpected arguments, abrupt cancellations of plans, or even end relationships entirely.

These feelings can also enlighten a person to a vital and necessary crossroads, where one has to make a choice for themselves, or a choice for the relationship. Polyamory allows for creative and complex solutions.

But at the end of the day and at the end of the argument, are you going to stay together or nah? That’s all it ever comes down to—whether you understand WHY you are staying or not. And if not then you need to decide if you are going to stay without knowing why, or go without knowing why.

Good luck in your love, mes amis!

Adventure on,
Addi Stewart

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