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Charlie Sheen: Polyamory Poster Boy No More?

Tiger

It’s unfortunate that the most famous polyamorous celebrity in the last few years, Charlie Sheen, has recently confessed to contracting HIV. I wish him the best in his journey of healing and honesty, and I hope all his partners are safe and completely informed about everything.

The days of “WINNING!” and “tiger blood” are now cemented into time in a way that will never be seen the same again. I remember talking to friends about how cool it would be to have five porn star girlfriends. And all at the same time, and with them knowing! Yes, there was a time when I used to idolize Charlie Sheen and his super-sexual activities.

But, even back then, four years ago, there was something that I noticed: he didn’t seem too keen on promoting equality and safety. There was never any talk of wearing condoms or the ladies being all on contraceptives, or Charlie supporting his ladies having five boyfriends.

That was something I was always curious about, and never really got a comfortable answer about. I don’t really like to support one-way poly. Some people prefer those relationships, and if they do want to be with one person only, and are cool with the person being with more: it’s fine.

Not everyone wants to be with as many people as some of their partners may want, and that is totally an option worth respecting.But that doesn’t work for me. I can’t be the type of man who wants to be with five women, and then tell them they can’t also be with five guys. I just can’t!

And from what it looked like with Charlie, there was a polyamorous imbalance. I’m not saying this is what led to his HIV contraction, lord no! But I am saying that it contributed to the incomprehensible and chaotic days of sexual frenzy and intimacy mysteries that left things so messy. There have been women complaining about not being disclosed to, there are talks of Charlie being extorted for partners to stay silent… drama. There are also videos now being released that purport to capture Charlie in some unprotected homosexual acts mixed with dangerous drug use.

All of that is not part and parcel of healthy polyamory. There is no blackmail in honorable polyamory. There is no deception between anyone. It’s not right for a partner to say “I will disclose your dis-ease status to other lovers if you do not pay me millions!” Zero respect exists in this act.

I do not judge drug use or homosexuality as bad, not at all. But to hide these acts from your other partners is very problematic. It’s obvious now. And whether there was prevailing relationship instability to trigger this betrayal or not, to manipulate a partner leveraging privacy of others? Foul.

Ultimately, I hope Charlie is a changed man in every way, and that he’s on a path to healthy honest sexuality with the men and women he’ll touch.

HIV doesn’t have to be a terminal sentence. With his money, I’m sure he can live a good extra couple decades like any other 50-year-old man.

But the truth is, there were lies being told between people, and that’s just not any kind of example to follow.

Now that there’s no more tiger blood in his veins, it’s time for him to cleanse his habits and reflect on what kind of father he can be, moving on. With his children knowing of his condition and his partners having to deal with his condition, the truth is: Charlie Sheen must live for truth now.

I do not know if he will settle down with one woman, or if he will try to continue being polyamorous, but the final lesson in all of this to me is: tell the truth to everyone at all times. And always PLAY SAFE.

Good luck, bro. Keep hope alive.

Love,
Addi Stewart

Watch Charlie Sheen talk about being HIV positive:

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