Full disclosure: I have not heard Lemonade yet!
But even a deaf and blind person has heard and seen the rumors: Beyoncé been cheated on by Jay Z?! Ohhhhh noooo screams the Beyhive, as they sharpen their pitchforks and pour gasoline on their castration-ready torches. Welp, apparently it’s a thing. And it’s a very real and very bad thing that Jay Z did.
But more insane than hearing Jay Z cheated on the hottest chick in the game, it’s insane for me to think that a man like Shawn Big Pimpin’ Carter would and could easily change his super sexual celebrity slutstar ways of being with a different number of supermodels and women on tour every night for over a decade of a solo career, then just settle down with one woman like it’s nothing? We don’t smell Beyoncé’s bad breath or hear her pregnancy flatulence. We don’t see Bey get furious when she doesn’t have her favorite comfort food made to her strict specifications. We don’t see the side of Beyoncé that says, “I’m a sex symbol to millions of men and women around the world, and I’m a dancing-singing-entertainment machine like nothing else in pop culture superstardom… so NO I don’t feel like fucking you tonight, Jiggamayne!”
I joke, I joke, I kid… but after the laughter stops, methinks there be some sprinkling of truth on my cute accusation. Beyoncé and Jay look like the typical “we feign monogamy because celebrity life pseudo-demands such traditional fidelity, but behind closed doors… we are either cheating with Becky-with-the-good-hair or Rachel Roy or Rihanna or Karrine Steffans (if we’re lucky!)”
And now for someone totally different: Kanye West.
Is anyone publicly speaking about the fact that Kanye and Kim Kardashian seem to be in the most high-profile open relationship in America? On Kanye’s new album TLOP, besides the fact that there’s a picture of a nuclear family on the cover… juxtaposed to a picture of a supermodel that is NOT Kim, there are multiple references to having extra-curricular intimate activities occurring in his life… in what sounds like present-tense storytelling.
What does that mean to the idea of traditional marriage in North American society, if Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are married with children, but also have the freedom to play with other men and women too? Would people get even angrier with Kim or with Kanye? Would they lose fans or gain them? Would people be comfortable with a married mom having a boyfriend then coming home to her celebrity husband? Would people be cool with supporting Kanye “fucking a model that gets bleach on his t-shirt” and then coming home to Kim? What does that mean for their own relationships, to have their idols be their own personal goals?
How many celebrities have open relationships or untraditional unions? Big up to Will and Jada, T.I. and Tiny, and if the rumors are to be believed, Angelina and Brad Pitt too… even though the new rumor mill says they’re divorcing so… kanyeshrug. Ha ha!
Discuss below your thoughts on celebrity polyamory!
In frisky joy,
Watch this video: All Jay Z Cheating References in Lemonade