Savages: Polyamory in Film

Polyamorous Savages aka Hollywood Tries to Make Polywood featuring Blake Lively, Taylor Kitsch and Aaron Taylor-Johnson

Let’s have us a little slice of this tasty polyamorous Hollywood cinema, shall we? Indulge yourself for a second and picture this:

Two people fucking rather intensely. Then, a woman begins narrating:
“…he doesn’t have orgasms, he has WARgasms. So I try to give him back some of the things he’s lost. Chon is the love of my life.”
After describing how good Chon’s weed-selling game is and a little more of his back story, she continues:
“Call me O. I was named after Ophelia, the bi-polar basketcase in Hamlet that committed suicide… so I just cut it down to O.”
No doubt a subtle reference to The Confessions of O by Pauline Reage.) Continuing:
“This is Ben…” as she runs up to another male character, jumps on him and wraps her legs around his waist.“…the OTHER love of my life.”
Cut to scene in enormous bathtub, with Ben laying on his back naked and O straddling him, then starts making love to a man who just minutes earlier, gave a bro-hug to his weed-selling high school homie in the front yard. Quoi? O begins a voiceover to state the supposedly obvious reaction the audience is supposed to have
“I know what you’re thinking: SLUT! And maybe it’s wrong. But we all love each other so much. And we trust each other. And together, they are one complete man. Chon is cold metal. Ben is warm wood. Chon fucks. Ben makes love. Chon is earth, and Ben is spirit. And the one thing they have in common is: me. I’m the home that neither of them ever had. And they are mine.”

Much respect to Oliver Stone for giving his Cali chronic dealers/Mexican mafia movie Savages a sexy twist with a polyamorous relationship being the basis upon which the inevitable cinematic drama is based upon (O gets kidnapped by Mexican villains, and it’s up to her lovers to save her.) Rarely does one see such a steamy scenario in a Hollywood movie; most of the time, it’s some telegraphed variation of a guy playing the field, unbeknownst to the woman/women (until it’s time to advance the plot and/or recycle a cliché)… or some woman wishing for any kind of ‘happily ever after’ scenario.

That being said, without exploring where Savages takes the open relationship concept, I’d like to critique a few aspects of its kinky little menage-a-trois situation.

“Slut!” – O’s self-condemnation and literal slut-shaming for taking full responsibility of her carnal choices in a mature and consensual set-up with two other honest individuals. (One of my favorite quips: “She’s NOT a slut, she’s a people person!”)

“And maybe it’s wrong.” – The appeasement of mainstream audience’s conservative sensibilities follows. As if any external judgment of individual’s sexual choices is relevant to the growth of the relationships. If they are, then there’s more personal emotional work to be done before a holistic polyamorous relationship can grow and thrive. Let’s be clear: it’s a gentle bonus to have others favor your amorous adventurism, but no sane polyamorist cares more about non-poly opinions than the opinions, thoughts and feelings of those directly involved in his/her intimate bond.

You have to not give a fuck what people who don’t understand polyamory “think” about polyamory. If we live our love lives trying to satisfy everyone else… we will NEVER be happy, whether you’re monogamous, or especially, if you’re polyamorous!

“And they are mine.” – A slightly unhealthy approach, I think, as it reveals a sense of possession that rarely mixes well with a sense of freedom, but it’s somewhat understandable. Romantic sexual relationships are ones we are generally TAUGHT to feel most obliged to impose our most controlling monogamous restrictions upon – to try and protect against adultery, out-of-wedlock children, etc., but there are no guarantees. You can’t put a contract on love.

“But we all love each other so much, and we trust each other.” – On a positive note, the rest of her confession oozes with polyamorous passion, and does well to promote simultaneous love. It’s far from a perfect model to practice (her insistence that ‘together, they are one complete man’ is a bit unhealthy, as the perfect partner shouldn’t be seen as a composite of various people.

If any two, three, four or more people can all genuinely say they share love and trust together, I implore, request and ain’t too proud to beg of you: enjoy the connection and never deny yourself the courage of discovering the wonderful possibilities of polyamory.

O is right about this: each polyamorist’s heart is like a home that never existed, until the love was shared.

Always in love,
Addi Stewart

P.S. I also saw the movie Wanderlust, and thought it was cute. You don’t see Jennifer Aniston dipping her ‘Friends’-based conservative sexual image in polyamorous waters very often!

Check out: 10 Polyamory Movies

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