Love to Jada Pinkett-Smith aka Mrs. Hitch
I just wanted to shout out Jada Pinkett-Smith for doing the world a favor (polyamorists and beyond) and expressing the marital state of affairs (no pun intended) between herself and her world famous hubby, Will “Fresh Prince” Smith. There have been vague and frivolous rumors floating around her name for many years now, like “Is Will Smith cheating with Eva Mendes?” and “Are Will and Jada officially breaking up, or staying together just for the sake of the children?!” and such, since they decided to get married fourteen years ago.
In April, Jada decided to enlighten the masses and put out a Facebook message that cleared the air about her marital status with Will, as well as giving the average Joe and average Joan a scintillating look into the structure and boundaries allowed in the marriage scenario of Will and Jada. She sent hordes of folks into a over-analytical frenzy, in which I don’t care to frolic, when she said: “we don’t have an open relationship, we have an adult one”, where I believe she IS saying she doesn’t just allow him the freedom to flirt and fuck anyone he wants while she stays at home and raises the kids. I believe it means she is saying SHE has the freedom to do the exact same thing most people assume only men want to do, ie: have their mistress cake and eat dinner with their wife too. Fallacious assumptions aside, I firmly believe Jada is stating that she has the exact same freedoms to enjoy other men and women as Will does, and THAT’S what constitutes their “open marriage”.
Note the beautiful and brilliant statement she makes about “trust and love and how they co-exist” in terms of stating “Will can do whatever he wants”. How mature! How evolved! How enlightened! She does not believe she needs to control or own or demand anything from him to keep him faithful! What a concept: genuine trust and fertile faith. It looks and sounds like a glorious gift to give to a person you share your bed with!
“Do we believe loving someone means owning them?” Excellent question, Jada. In Western society, it certainly does seem to mean that, to far too many people. And this unhealthy approach to romance and sex and love is the primary cause of so much jagged heartbreak and psychotic sexuality. Every single line is quotable and worth ruminating upon, but I especially like when Jada said: “Do we believe that the more control we put on someone, the safer we are? What of TRUST and LOVE?”
Amen hallelujah, Jada.
And in the end, she says: “We don’t have an OPEN relationship, we have a GROWN one.” I believe she makes the caveat of not speaking of an open relationship in terms of how horrible some people interpret such concepts, and that in the framework of “open marriages” (which faaar too many people in this society still can’t grasp and conceive non-judgementally), she simply enjoys an “adult relationship” with Will, which is essentially the same thing, but with less connotations of social outcasting, for the marriage contingent dwelling (often so sanctimoniously) amongst us.
God and Goddess bless every relationship on earth, especially the ones in which the woman happily expresses the ability, maturity, desire and possibility to do WHATEVER SHE WANTS, alongside her husband! Maybe that’s why they have lasted fourteen years, and not eight months like Russell Brand and Katy Perry! (God bless their precious little souls).
Personally, a polyamorous romantic rockstar like myself could never see myself settling down and getting married… but if I were to get married, it would HAVE TO be with someone into “open marriage” trust and freedom, like Jada!
Always in love,
From Jada’s Facebook page:
Should we be married to individuals who can not be responsible for themselves and their families within their freedom? Should we be in relationships with individuals who we can not entrust to their own values, integrity, and LOVE…for us???
Read her entire statement “Open Marriage?” HERE