Polyamory Dating

Sexual Limitations in Polyamory

Man Surrounded by Women at Bar

Know your Limit. Play within it!

Nothing is infinite except imagination and desire.

Polyamory has limitations. Yes, technically: we can sweet talk a verbal contract that allows us to be with ANYONE. IN. THE. ENTIRE. FREAKING. WORLD!

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And isn’t that the dream? Isn’t that what all of us have wanted to be, have, do, touch and fuck, even if for just ONE day of our horny-ass lives? Methinks so.

But the truth of your verbal contract isn’t the same as the truth Albert Einstein is trying to describe with his E=MC2 theory, as in: this is NOT a universal concept!

We can dream, wish, hope, pray, and scheme to fuck a new person every single day for the rest of our lives, and even if we were A FRACTION as successful as our most raging, unbridled teenage desires, then what could you REALLY do?

What is your MAXIMUM CARNAL CAPACITY? Because JAH RASTAFARI KNOWS I have heard from numerous countless endless women that say: “men pretend to be sex junkies and sex maniacs, but when it comes down to it… how many men can keep up to me when I get going? NOT MANY!”

Science backs this up with numerous charts and stats. In very general terms by way of chin-scratching observations: the sexual fire of men are quite like matches and the sexual fire of women is quite like a pot of water. It takes matches very little time to get hot and light up, and they don’t last very long, but they can spread fire and burn down a cheating boyfriend’s entire wardrobe in five minutes if applied properly, ha ha.

But to enjoy the delicacy that is women? Well, to extend the pot of water analogy: to eat a well-cooked meal, you’re gonna need some time to let the water heat up, my good sir! It takes at least six minutes for water to boil, is that not correct? So, times that by two or three or TEN, and there’s your ACTUAL foreplay window to GENUINELY satisfy a woman and not just half-disappoint her for a so-called reward at the end of a dinner date, ha ha!

Yeah, man: it takes almost an HOUR to cook most real gourmet meals, and hopefully you have an hour to dedicate to getting things cooking with your hot sexy partner, especially if she is a woman!

But that’s the tip of the polyamory iceberg, baby. If you were to REALLY satisfy EVERY partner you could be with, and maximize the time you could potentially experience with them, how many lovers could you have in a day? In a week? In a month? And how long could you sustain doing such a thing? Really and truly.

Extrapolate from your genitals to the beginning of your sexual dalliances, before you ever dealt with contraceptives, and then dream into the future with all your imagination. How much can you REALLY fuck? Are you deeply happy with your two lovers and your sex once-a-week with each one of them? Or are you supposed to join me as a competitor at the Sex Olympics? (They DO exist.)

The point is: THERE ARE LIMITS, no matter how deep your desire, lust, sex club visits, Fetlife accounts, escorts, strip clubs, porn sites, and masturbation habits are…

So, accept that you can’t fuck everyone you want to fuck, can’t kiss everyone you want to kiss, and can’t connect to everyone you want to connect to, no matter how hard you try… and realize that, even though he is the greatest basket ball player of all time, even Michael Jordan missed shots and lost games sometimes.

A chef will burn the food sometimes.

A dancer will twist their ankle sometimes.

A quarterback will throw a bad pass sometimes.

Polyamorous dreamers sometimes don’t keep this in mind.

Please remember. Polyamory is NOT Pokemon: you can’t catch them all!

Bon appétit,
Addi Stewart

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